feigning interestDo I look like I care?

Wow. We’ve been together almost 20 years. Let’s face it: you were my first one and my only one. Even when you went you through that crazy “Call me ‘Cingular’ ” phase, I was there with you. I never wavered.

Remember when we went overseas together and I bought minutes from that little grocery store where they stored the eggs on the shelves, not even refrigerated? Yeah, me too. That was neat. Oh, and that time when we got lost in San Diego, and you helped me get home? You were great.

I mean, everything was going great until a few years ago. You decided to bring your hot friend into our relationship. Yeah, iPhone was sexy and sleek and… well, the ways I could touch her. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Her warm glow kept all three of us warm, to be honest. I never thought it could get better than that.

But iPhone started getting an attitude. Sure, I could buy music from her iTunes Store, but she would only let me play it on a few devices. Whatever. Then, there were these really useful apps I wanted, but her dad, Steve, said we couldn’t use them. Then, he gets all high and mighty over Flash, spreading rumors about him and making him look bad. I’ve met Flash, and quite frankly, everyone loves him and gets along with him. He’s cool. But, no. iPhone had to listen to her father, and how I can’t surf most of the web with her.

Then came the last straw. Even though I was loyal and talked you up to everyone, you decided to start hanging up on me when I was talking to other people. Talk about possessive! My calls would just drop, and you’d blame it on “too many users”. I don’t even want to know what that means.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: I’ve met someone new. iPhone is hot and all that, but I wanted brains, beauty and a more open-minded attitude. Her name is Android, and she lives in this neat HTC device. Let me tell you: she is everything iPhone is not. I can listen to whatever I want, she’s community-minded, and she plays well with other software and devices. She gets along really well with Macs, PCs and that cool Linux guy. Basically, she’s a good soul.

I’m moving to T-Mobile. There, I said it. I wish you well.

Best Wishes,
Don